Inspiration

Rest In Peace Dad – The Grieving Process

I am finally sitting down to write this post. I have attempted to do this for weeks and weeks but every occasion I try I would stop, as its a challenge to type these words.

My Dad lost his battle with cancer in January. Each time I say it or write it cuts me like a knife. At first, this all felt like a dream, a very very bad dream. I would wake up in the morning and take a moment to unravel my thoughts then realise it was not a dream, this had actually happened. The mornings were always the worst time of the day for me.

Getting used to this strange new normal

Every day I cry tears that cannot bring him back and all I have are the memories that I recall in an attempt to do so. I try and recall the memories, his voice, his laughter, his hugs. I stare at his favourite chair and catch myself checking if he is sitting in it. I am at odds with the fact that he is referred to in past tense.

People in their attempt to comfort me say to me that he has gone to a better place. With us here is the better place because he was not ready to die. He told me that in the weeks leading up to his passing. He loved being a father and told me that he still had so much to give his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

My Dad was amazing and adjusting to him not being there at the end of the phone, not there to share the highlights of my day and to hear from him, giving me jokes is hard.

Although a spiritual person, I have questioned everything I thought I believed about death and the afterlife. All I know right now is that there are more questions than there are answers and from here on in life is going to be different.

Weeks have past and I have struggled to do the things and use the tools that in the past I would have relied on to take me out of a dark and emotional place. Such as meditation, deep breathing etc. I could feel myself spiraling, slipping into a painful sadness. The build-up this emotion felt like a pressure cooker about to explode, to the point where I made a call last week and I reached out for grief counseling.

Processing the process  

Every day is different and I am taking each day as it comes. I am now meditating and trust this will help with the grieving process and the journey to getting back to my old self.

I want to thank my friends and family who are supporting through this time, especially my wonderful Husband, Tony and my children who have been there for me. To those of you who have reached out to me on social media and those who have understood that I may not have responded to calls and messages but know I appreciate your love and comforting words.

Until next time

Sonia x

Award winning/Life Coach/Author/Blogger/Speaker/Radio Presenter Sonia supports women to get unstuck, jumpstart their lives and get their sassy back so that they can live the life of their desires. Passionate about supporting women to live their best lives, Sonia’s is often invited to speak and contribute on a number of radio shows, speaking platforms and articles. A housing professional, wife, mother of 4 and grandmother, Sonia believes that sometimes the simplest mind-set and lifestyle changes have the biggest impact on living a balanced and happy life. Sonia offers life coaching tools, wellbeing tips and inspiration on her lifestyle blog.

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Tony
    18th March 2018 at 11:27 am

    I know how hard it would have been for you to write this post Sonia, and I know you will use your inner strength to help bring you from sadness, to your place of peace and comfort. Love you. Tony.

    • Reply
      Sonia Greyson-Newman
      18th March 2018 at 9:09 pm

      Thank you so much my love. You continue to support me through this difficult time. I am truly grateful and I know that Dad left this world happy that we found each other. Love you too.x

  • Reply
    Maria
    18th March 2018 at 9:23 am

    Good morning Sonia.

    Sorry to hear of your loss. Condolences to you and your family. Looking at the photos I could feel the love you have for your dad and how you adore him ( using present tense deliberately). The feelings and love you have will never change; he is always here.

    Draw on your spiritual strength Sonia. Thank God for the wonderful times and fantastic memories. Let your emotions out use your energy and tools to heal yourself – relaxation meditation; the same tools you share with us all to enable us to have the best life.

    My father passed 12 years ago and I still sometimes talk about him in the present! – Yea I know 🙂 .

    Take good care Sonia. Love your husband, love your family and most of all continue to love and be your best self; all will be well. xx Maria

    • Reply
      Sonia Greyson-Newman
      18th March 2018 at 9:11 pm

      Thank you for your kind words Maria. Hope all is well with you and the family.x

  • Reply
    Mary
    18th March 2018 at 5:33 am

    Hello Sonia,

    This piece really touched me. My dad is advanced in age and also not in great health (although things could be much worse) – and I think about his passing sometimes. I’m sorry for your loss and I’m glad you could open up here and let us know how you’ve been doing, especially about going for grief counselling. It’s still a stigma in our community to reach out for professional help but I’m glad you wrote about it and are getting all the help that you need.

    All the best and much love.

    • Reply
      Sonia Greyson-Newman
      18th March 2018 at 9:21 pm

      Hi Mary, Thank you so much. Hold on to your Dad and spend as much time with him as possible. What I wouldn’t do to hug my Dad right now.xx

  • Reply
    Mary
    18th March 2018 at 5:33 am

    Hello Sonia,

    This piece really touched me. My dad is advanced in age and also not in great health (although things could be much worse) – and I think about his passing sometimes. I’m sorry for your loss and I’m glad you could open up here and let us know how you’ve been doing, especially about going for grief counselling. It’s still a stigma in our community to reach out for professional help but I’m glad you wrote about it and are getting all the help that you need.

    All the best and much love.

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